moving in . . .

I recently moved in with my partner of nearly two years. This is the first time I’ve ever lived with someone I’m in a relationship with, and while I’m sure he’s the sandwich I want to eat every day for the rest of my life (thank you Liz Lemon), it’s still kind of scary.

I just think of horror stories I’ve heard and coached friends through when their relationships go down the shitter and SUDDENLY they’re stuck on a lease with Mr./Ms. Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda-Been. Even more frightening is when people start asking when you’re taking the “next step”–implying engagement, marriage, and/ or babies. Our families have been doing this to us for awhile, but marriage and mini-us’s seem like more of an expectation rather than a choice now that we’re sharing an abode. I always said I want to live with someone before making any legal or ovarian commitments. That doesn’t mean living with a person needs to be a marriage test, or that it should be. That’s where The Hairpin comes in.

As I was pondering this new dimension to my relationship the other day, I stumbled across this post. The advice A Married Dude gives is the best I’ve heard for folks moving in together. I love my man, and while I want to make those legal and ovarian commitments to him one day, I’m trying my darndest not to see our joint lease as a test for the future. One life-epoch at a time.

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2 thoughts on “moving in . . .

  1. One life-epoch at a time. Moving in means you’re moving into an effort to make an actual pattern of a life together, based on all the love you’ve had for some time now. Relatives and even friends love to add on expectations, the way people like to add on extras at a party with a grille–but you’re not obligated to their expectations. If it does not work, you each will know it privately and will discuss it that way. If it does work, it will be clearer and clearer, and more and more comfortable, privately at first, and then so publicly that everyone’s questions will cease. Take it day to day. You are both truly lovely. You have loved each other deeply. Don’t doubt that. You’ve taken a good next step. See where it leads.

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